Tomorrow morning I hit the road for my 8-mile circuit. I think maybe by mid-summer I'd like to be able to run to NH and back. I'll have to look into treks through Winchendon (winchentucky). But that's good.
Class ended and I'm feeling a little low. I'm not going to take anything over the summer. I'm going to sit on my back porch and read all day and night. And that sounds exciting enough for me. Maybe head out to some parks and hike or just walk around.
Feeling fat today. Took many laxatives and am hoping to float away to the lovely empty feeling. Bobby left today and I feel very low about that. He was awful. I tried to be helpful and open to him but he would just wipe his ass with most of my advice and help. So what could I do? Meanwhile I'm still a woman so I'm internalizing his failure. His failure as a student teacher is a reflection on my inability to guide him to a better understanding of this profession. I know that's bullshit but I honestly worry that I was bitchy, or could have helped him more, or could have be more patient.
10 more laxatives and I won't feel a goddamn thing, so yup, that's my plan. I hate feelings, I just want to feel empty. I want to float away to "don't care" and just ride my empty until I die.
Summer: latin, reading, french, piano, running.