So there's a wonderful saying in the movie and book Midnight in the Garden of Good and Evil. "Two tears in a bucket, mother-fuck it!" that's what I'm living by these days. Just FUCK IT! I'm not getting upset any more, I'm not trying anymore, I'm not going to kill myself to make sure that this kid gets his license. I'm just going to fill out the paperwork and send it off. If the evil bitches at his college wanna complain, great, don't care about that either. They can forge my signature and I won't care.
Chinese food for dinner tonight. I had a little less than half the meal and set the rest aside for Michael. I've taken about 10 laxatives so far and can't wait to be sick sick sick. I love that sick and floating feeling. I want to curl up on the couch and just drift into empty tonight. I deserve it.