Sunday, June 9, 2013

Feeling positive

Had a beautiful dream last night that I got my dream job. Funniest part of the dream was that I wanted to get a Gardner (Gahdnahhey) T-shirt.

I am teetering between optimism and pragmatism (negativism, really). I believe that I am highly qualified for this job, and in a weird way that I deserve this job.  I have driven far to my job for 4 years now. I have proven that I am brilliant and diligent teacher. I create grand and creative curriculum and lesson plans. And I form strong and lasting relationships with not only the sweet lovable kids, but the worst of the worst at my schools. So why not me?

Why not? Well, I am expensive, I come with an MA. That will always be a detriment.  I have only 4 years under my belt for that money. So really, I'm not worth the money on paper. In reality, I'm MORE than worth the money. But schools usually don't gamble, they can't afford to.

Yesterday I ate at Bertucci's and had the Arugula, Watermelon and Feta salad with a half piece of salmon. Very yummy. Putting the weight back on in a smart responsible and slow way. Today, I have to grocery shop alone as Michael is going to his school's graduation. I am proud for him, he does a good job. It's not the best school, well actually it's a damned great school, it's like fifth in the state, but it's not my school, not my type of school anyway.  This is going to sound crazy, but there are just too many white kids... rich snotty entitled white kids. Yuck.

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