I want a puppy

I think a cute dog would be a good healthy addition to my life. I love my husband, I love my cat, but I want something that is a little more than a cat and a little less than my husband. I'd like to have a running buddy, and a couch potato. Don't get me wrong, as I type both the cat and Michael are asleep on the couch (they can't stay up for 48 hours, WTF?). I'd like a great big dog to take out and have people say "holy crap that girl is walking an ugly horse!" Or a smaller dog like a dachshund, put him in the basket of my bicycle. We could go for bike rides in Boston and Newport RI. I'd like that. I need to get a dog. I think it's therapeutic as well. I have to keep my body and mind healthy knowing that I'm in charge of, and responsible for, this other living thing. Somebody get me a dog.

Waiting for empty...

So I'm doing well. Happy about the pretty pretty dress from JCP. Hoping that my pretty pretty other dress will arrive shortly. I'm thinking that this dress will look great with a thick gold belt, the new sandals (already picked up) and a denim jacket, or a military jacket. I'm up in the air on that. Hopefully I don't lose so much that I won't be able to wear them. But that's okay, there's more pretty pretty dresses in the universe. I want to be teeny. Like Ann Hathaway in that scene where she dies... but with better hair... and skin.. and not be a hooker. Princess Diaries Three: Social Unrest!

So I'm hoping I will get that empty and get the sugary chinese food out. Chinese food? Should it be capitalized when it's just food? And that's not really chinese... I mean, first off it was all made here in America, right? And the history of that food is that it's not really from china, it's like Polynesian food. So why chinese? I dunno, probably just racism.

Anyway, food - GET OUT!

Ps - Gyspy sisters are nasty nasty girls! They have bad skin, bad hair, are skany, ignorant and trashy.. but AT LEAST they have the good sense to be thinny!

Chinese food and feeling okay about it

So I had some deliciously terrible chinese food this afternoon with Michael as we got the oil changed in my car. Hopefully I'll see all set about keeping the food in me. I had been a little depressed lately and I'm wondering if it's a combination of long days, season change, stress from student teacher and too little food... specifically hot food.  I'm thinking that maybe I should try to get (AND KEEP!!!) on hot meal a week into me. I'm 107 I think I can get off my back.  I just got back from JCPennys and NOTHING in that store fits. It's like I'm a child, I have to shop in juniors if I want a pretty dress.  At anyrate I did get a pretty pretty dress... it's a small which is a little too big even though it's an extra small, but oh well, I can pair it with a belt and a jacket. Another pretty pretty dress is coming in the mail... but if an extra small is too big, I dread trying on a regular small!  Wow, when did all the sizes get big, I mean, I don't recall small being this large, ever.

Have you seen some inches?

Because I've lost 'em! Hooray! Starvation does pay off you just have to keep going!
So weight: 107.0
Hips/bum: 34.5
Arm: 9.25
Waist: 23.5
Thigh: 20

YES!!!!  20 inch thigh. So I'm 2 pounds away from my goal weight for the Spring, and 2 inches away from my goal thigh size. I think an 18inch thigh is good, maybe consider going to 16 or even 14 inches. I want to be nice and slim and lovely.

What kills me is the looks I'm catching from people. Like being slim became a crime a few years ago. I could be covered in piercing and tattoos and people would feel bad for starring because they are passing judgment, or conversely I could be a big nasty beasty 300 dumper and then people wouldn't stare because it's wrong. But I'm tiny so it's not only okay to stare and glare, but to actually grab my arm, pinch my skin and comment freely. I'm little, not a child. Get off.

Also, look at all the chemicals people pore into their body to lose weight. Just don't eat food. Then there's all the chemicals in their food, and that could be avoided.  But best of all, we are going to have universal healthcare... so it's our responsibility to keep our bodies as slim and healthy and possible to keep the cost off of our fellow countrymen. I don't get it. So I'm slim and little and clearly healthy, people should be looking at me, wiping the glares off their faces and saying "I should eat less and run more so my neighbor doesn't have to buy my insulin." Also all that food could go to others. It's so greedy to eat! Just greedy greedy greedy!

student teacher is trying to kill me

So, hooray, I got a student teacher. Boo, I got a student teacher. I wanna die. Aside from fracking up like a professional he refuses to read, refuses to prep, loses work and in general sucks. But today was the best... he "created" a handout for Shelly and it was obvious copy and pasted from randomwebsite.com. He CLEARLY never read it over as this hand out insisted that Shelly was in a "menage a trois" with her husband and Byron. I said "yeah, we're taking out the phrase 'menage a trois' it doesn't belong in a hand out for high schoolers". He was all agreement... as usual, and then the BEST thing happened. He asks "what does that mean?" I mean, come on! Okay, maybe you don't know what that is, good for you, but fracking if you are going to hand out a sheet to students you READ IT OVER and if you don't recogonize the terms you LOOK THEM UP! So I said "it's when three people get together and have sex." I gotta get this kid out of my classroom.

107.0! YEAH!

So I played basketball on the faculty team last night. Yeah, it was every bit as ridiculous as you would imagine a 5'0" 107lb woman trying to block an 8 foot tall senior to be. I had a blast, looked terrible, ran a lot, nearly fainted, didn't make any shots and passed well. Today at school every student kept insisting I was "adorable" so it's nice to know that they think I'm "tiny" "too skinny" "so little" and translate to "terrible at sports". I was pretty good at running! I'm a fast little bugger.

Sitting here empty and loving it. Had toast at breakfast with tea. Lunch was a yogurt and apple. There were baked goods and I bought plenty, ate a whoopie pie and two cupcakes and didn't feel the slightest bit bad. For dinner I had a piece of toast and tea, just wasn't hungry. Feeling uninterested in food these days. Very proud that I stepped on the scale and saw 107.0 starring at me at the end of the day. Hooray!

Is this sick?

I love that drowsy weak empty feeling of purging? Windy outside. Lazy on the couch. Slowly falling into sleepy comfort. Going to watch Supersize v. Superskinny on youtube in a minute. Love that show. It's great to keep you on track. Everytime you think "Hey I could have a cookie" just put on that show and look at the supersize people, see their bodies and skin, listen to them talk, see how unhappy they are, and watch them walk around in destroyed bodies and you will think "mmmm... better not!"