Hooray for stress

If there's a better weight loss system than being completely stressed out over nonsense that you didn't start, can't end and have NO power over, then let me know. I am finally at goal weight for the week, 108.  Hoorah.

So where's the stress coming from you ask? Work. A student failed my class. He wrote a pretty terrible final research paper, and I gave it a 68. Which was generous. More than generous. This brought his grade up to a 59.49. So I immediately smiled, breathed a sigh of relief and thought, hooray! I can make this a 60 and he gets a D- and off he goes. Yeah.

Wrong. My administrator decided that the 59.49 stands and this student fails and he now doesn't pass English and he's not graduating high school. Yup. So I get to explain this to the parents that he failed my class. Sucks. But here's my real problem. Why in God's name are we doing this? His parents have been in my classroom, on my phone, up my ass about how their child's future is destroyed by my actions. Uhm, slight correction, but your son's actions and my administrator's desire to watch your kid crash and burn. Motherfucker!

So now we are all having a meeting where they are bringing another a student who "helped" him with his paper to talk about how I set him up, I made him fail by lying about how it was good only to grade it tougher. Yippie. My fucking life fucking sucks like fucking crazy.

If an administrator ever walks into your room, whatever you do, DON'T tell them SHIT!

Dinner: eggie in a basket, single egg with yoke on toasted bread with margarine. Fell out of me immediately. Probably won't keep much in me for days... this is going to drag on for ever, I can just feel it.

Tomorrow is an interview at a closer school... wish me luck.

110

Maintained at 110 all day. Pretty damned happy. I did cheat and got a iced hot chocolate at DDs. Sorry body. But I think it will be okay. I was safe with dinner and was really good to myself with breakfast (yogurt, 80 cals) and lunch (ten baby carrots, 1 apple, second yogurt) then with dinner I think I'll be okay.

I'm into this fantastic show: Supersize v. Superskinny. Love it! This show is pretty cool, people who are very overweight team up with people who are very underfed. In pairs they swap diets, not the healthiest idea, but good entertainment.

I like watching the superskinnies, their bodies are lovely!

This blond has just perfect arms, abs and pins!
Lovely long and lean. I'd kill for this body. I don't get this show he looks at the superskinnies and criticizes them... uhm, hello this is what the human body should look like!

This little red-head is a tap dancer and teen model. So first off, she's like 18 so give me a break, of course she's a skinny pinny girl. But she's got a tiny little body and I'm jealous! Of course, I'm 37 so I think 110 for 37 isn't too shabby. Would like to tighten up the arms (no bingo wings thank you!) and trim down the thighs and pins.

Pesto Feta Individual Pizzas

So I just made up the second dinner tonight.

Flatbread with a generous helping of pesto spread out to the edges and then sprinkled with large chucked feta cheese. Served with apple slices for a side.

Yum. The pesto is pretty darned good but a little tangy to be honest. Smelled better than tasted. There's just a weird sweet tangy underbite to it. So I don't know. The feta is typical hannaford's fare, very yummy. The flatbread is just flatbread, so there's nothing amazing there.

Overall, I recommend this meal. It's good.

Cal count:
apple: 40 cals (only had half)
bread: 100 cals
pesto: 46 cals
feta: 60 cals.

Total:   246... DAMN!

Now that I've done the math, this TOTALLY worth the cals!

Anorexic Foodie Strikes again!

Okay, so this is a pathetic first blog on food. No one who is actually a foodie would care, or rather, would DARE to eat these. But I just tried the Morning Star Asian Burger Patty, and it's actually not bad.

Meal:  Whole wheat bun, Asian Veggie patty, lettuce, slice of beef tomato, three slices onion (rings) muenster cheese.
Side: carrots with a little drizzle of ranch dressing.
Drink: Ginger ale, heavily iced.

Calorie counter (because this is, after all, the ANOREXIC Foodie):
Morning Star Asian Veg Patty: 100
Whole wheat bun: 130
One slice of Muenster cheese: 103
one leaf of Boston Curly Lettuce: 7
Slice of Beef Tomato:  10
10 baby carrots:  88
2 tbsp drizzle of Ranch dressing:  140 (WTF!)

Total for meal: 578...  well, that's not as bad as I was afraid, but still more than what I would eat in an entire day normally. Overall it was worth the cals. I would not do it twice in one sitting, which I did making my total eat count over 1100. Yuck. But I feel good and feel pretty happy about what I ate. Since it was almost entirely veg I think it was a good food investment.

Critique: the patties are tasty, but the taste is obviously coming from the fragrance more than the flavour. However, as I live in America I can't expect to eat anything that has not been chemically altered from it's natural state.

Final thought: since I'm going to finish this blog fast to get another, it has to be a favourable review. I recommend these to anyone sick of eating a burger and feeling like a sick greasy oil spot on the couch. I ate it, thought about it for a while and noticed that I'm not tired, or sad, or my tummy isn't upset and my face doesn't feel dirty. I don't want to brush my teeth until I throw up, so yup, this must be a pretty darned good fake-burger.

The Anorexic Foodie

So I'm thinking of changing the tenor of this blog from me whining about how fat I am... 110 this morning. Very happy actually. And start talking about what a foodie I am.

Don't know if you know about this (the two people from the vampire website that randomly read this every day, thank you) but I am the biggest foodie on the planet. I love food. I'm obsessed with food. I watch the food network all day. I should be 500 pounds. But fortunately, I am obsessed with counting calories, and I feel insanely bad every time I put food in my body.

But with summer coming I wish I had friends close by to cook for. I am a great griller, and am learning about the fine art of BBQ.

Bollywood Grill and terror

So the Bollywood grill is phenomenal! I highly recommend to anyone interested in Indian food. This place has a really fun atmosphere, delicious food, (I think it's buffet only) and happy waitstaff. I had a great experience and ate far too much. Loaded up my plate twice.

So I'm thinking it might be time to take matters into my own hands and get rid of this food before it can do anything permanent.

Then it's sitting on the porch for a lovely day of reading and drinking iced tea.

109. thank the lord!

It's about time too. Honestly I have no idea what I'm supposed to do, starve? I've got to get my body down to a decent size and number, but it felt like no matter what I did I would be that big fat 111 or 112.

Today we are going to Bollywood Cafe in Worcester/Shrewsbury. I'm excited, I haven't had delicious Indian food in so long! I honestly think that the last time I had Indian food was when a roommate in college (the first time) brought some that her mother had made. It was delicious, I think I ate more than what was polite... and back then I could eat eat eat! Which is why I got so fat (144) and why I have to be on top of myself now (109! Yeah!).

Okay, well. Probably write again today.

thinspo for today: First day of June:

I'm proud of this girl (no, it's not me) she lost almost 30 pounds, which is amazing that the body on the left is only 150... to be quite honest I'm thinking she's only 4 feet tall if that's 150! But the 121 body is good, she should still work on it. No thigh gap, hips are still a little puffy, arms droop.  Tummy looks great. But there's always room for improvement.