Risotto tonight. Very excited about this. I'm feeling like a big professional chef. Honestly I wish I had more friends who lived closer because I think this is going to be crazy yummy. I have two nice pieces of salmon, and got the rest of the ingredients. Very excited about this. A little worried about the freshness of the veggies... they are frozen, but that's what the recipe calls for... I may hop out one last time and get fresh veg.
Okay, let's see how this goes.
Excellent news, 107, so I'm back on the right track to thinny. Lost an inch from my waist and thighs... you know this. But I'm feeling good. Have lots and lots of correcting to do. BLECK! Okay, getting there.
Saturday, April 6, 2013
Inches inches everywhere
Shedding inches! Thighs down to 20 and waist at 23! Hooray!
Celebrating with toast and tea this morning. Hips at 34.5/35 without a change. But I think that's a summer battle, so I'm going to be okay with it. Stomach is nice and flat, pins are beautiful and straight and slim, slender long arms, cheekbones, collarbones and hip bones are all fully visible. Love it. Very happy!
Also feeling good over my new "Jesus take the wheel" attitude towards student teacher. He can either do this job or not but I"m not getting upset over it. I'm not going to personal his failure, and I'm going to stop worrying about how he is a reflection of me. He doesn't reflect me, he reflects his own ineptitude.
Celebrating with toast and tea this morning. Hips at 34.5/35 without a change. But I think that's a summer battle, so I'm going to be okay with it. Stomach is nice and flat, pins are beautiful and straight and slim, slender long arms, cheekbones, collarbones and hip bones are all fully visible. Love it. Very happy!
Also feeling good over my new "Jesus take the wheel" attitude towards student teacher. He can either do this job or not but I"m not getting upset over it. I'm not going to personal his failure, and I'm going to stop worrying about how he is a reflection of me. He doesn't reflect me, he reflects his own ineptitude.
Friday, April 5, 2013
Chinese food and feeling great
So there's a wonderful saying in the movie and book Midnight in the Garden of Good and Evil. "Two tears in a bucket, mother-fuck it!" that's what I'm living by these days. Just FUCK IT! I'm not getting upset any more, I'm not trying anymore, I'm not going to kill myself to make sure that this kid gets his license. I'm just going to fill out the paperwork and send it off. If the evil bitches at his college wanna complain, great, don't care about that either. They can forge my signature and I won't care.
Chinese food for dinner tonight. I had a little less than half the meal and set the rest aside for Michael. I've taken about 10 laxatives so far and can't wait to be sick sick sick. I love that sick and floating feeling. I want to curl up on the couch and just drift into empty tonight. I deserve it.
Chinese food for dinner tonight. I had a little less than half the meal and set the rest aside for Michael. I've taken about 10 laxatives so far and can't wait to be sick sick sick. I love that sick and floating feeling. I want to curl up on the couch and just drift into empty tonight. I deserve it.
Wednesday, April 3, 2013
Feeling alright
I think I'm going to survive this. Today I finally felt a little lightening in my chest. I started my day practically in tears and shaking. I honestly just shook until I saw a student of mine was back from a ridiculous suspension. Very happy to see this guy back!
So I was shaking and scratching, went to Patrick complained my heart out. But today the student teacher did a pretty darned good job. Very happy with his effort with his plans. Very happy with what I see. So I think I can do this. I think I can get this guy out of my classroom with everybody happy. I will be okay.
May 10th get here. Please get here soon.
So I ate today. I skipped all meals until dinner and had a six inch meatball sub. I know that's way above my 500 cal limit but the protein is really going to my head and making me feel so good. I feel fantastic and warm. That's the best.
Anyway, hopefully tomorrow will be good too. I've got my class that I love tomorrow. YEAH!
So I was shaking and scratching, went to Patrick complained my heart out. But today the student teacher did a pretty darned good job. Very happy with his effort with his plans. Very happy with what I see. So I think I can do this. I think I can get this guy out of my classroom with everybody happy. I will be okay.
May 10th get here. Please get here soon.
So I ate today. I skipped all meals until dinner and had a six inch meatball sub. I know that's way above my 500 cal limit but the protein is really going to my head and making me feel so good. I feel fantastic and warm. That's the best.
Anyway, hopefully tomorrow will be good too. I've got my class that I love tomorrow. YEAH!
Tuesday, April 2, 2013
Stress eating and scratching
So I had that meeting with useless student teacher and clown patrol. I hated it. These people are fucking stupid, like crazy fucking stupid. They are special. Bitch face, not the Baba Yaga looking chick, said she never got the notes that I know I handed her. Fucking liar moron clown ass bitch. I just can't stand stupid people.
Now I'm punishing my body. I have scratched my neck to pieces and shreds. It looks like a blood pulpy mess back there, just disgusting. I took five laxatives. Then ate McDonalds. And now I'm thinking up ways to go upstairs and purge out the food. Then I can spend the rest of the evening getting sick and empty.
I just hate people. i just hate them to shreds.
Now I'm punishing my body. I have scratched my neck to pieces and shreds. It looks like a blood pulpy mess back there, just disgusting. I took five laxatives. Then ate McDonalds. And now I'm thinking up ways to go upstairs and purge out the food. Then I can spend the rest of the evening getting sick and empty.
I just hate people. i just hate them to shreds.
Monday, April 1, 2013
finally sickness
Ah, thank god. I have barely eaten anything and I'm worried that I am addicted to laxatives... meaning they won't work unless I take something extreme like 10... but I put in 4 about 4 (ha) hours ago and it's working. I feel sick.
This morning was fabulous. I was so sick I honestly thought I was going to die. I was sick, feverish and thought I was having a heart attack. Nearly fainted in the shower. It felt so good. I felt like I as fading. It was beautiful.
This morning was fabulous. I was so sick I honestly thought I was going to die. I was sick, feverish and thought I was having a heart attack. Nearly fainted in the shower. It felt so good. I felt like I as fading. It was beautiful.
Calorie Count 4/1
Tea: 32
Toast: 80
Yogurt: 80
Carrots:117
Cereal: 80
TOTAL: 389!
Now begins the long haul of resisting food!
inspiration:
Toast: 80
Yogurt: 80
Carrots:117
Cereal: 80
TOTAL: 389!
Now begins the long haul of resisting food!
inspiration:
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)